Can You Heal Trauma?

Trauma isn't always the result of one major event. Sometimes it's the accumulation of experiences that left us feeling unsafe, unheard, or alone.

In this episode of the Thrive with Nicole Podcast, we explore what trauma really is, how it can affect the nervous system, and why healing isn't about simply "moving on." Instead, healing is about gently creating enough safety for your mind and body to begin letting go of survival patterns that are no longer serving you.

We'll talk about:

• What trauma really is
• How trauma can show up emotionally, physically, and spiritually
• Why feeling safe is the foundation of healing
• Common misconceptions about trauma recovery
• Gentle steps you can begin taking towards healing

Whether you're navigating your own healing journey or wanting to better understand someone you love, this episode offers compassionate insights and hope that healing is possible.

Remember, healing isn't about becoming someone new; it's about reconnecting with the person you've always been beneath the survival.

✨ If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of the Thrive with Nicole Podcast.

✨If you are feeling ready to embark on your healing journey, I would be honoured to hold safe healing container for you.  I invite you to explore how I can support you.

✨Do you have a burning question that is keeping you up at night?  I invite you to submit your question to Heart-to-Heart with Nicole, you can message me here on the podcast or email info@nicoleivens.com

Thank you for joining me for this conversation.

My hope is that through each episode, you feel a little more seen, a little more understood, and a little more connected to yourself.

If you'd like to continue the conversation, I invite you to join Heart to Heart with Nicole, where we explore life's questions, challenges, and moments of growth together.

Until we meet again, be gentle with yourself, trust your journey, and remember: to feel safe is to heal.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

You are listening to the Thrive with Nicole podcast, a place to explore the depths of you through spirituality, healing, and empowerment. A little bit about me, your host. My name is Nicole Igans, and the best words to describe me are quiet, introverted, empathic, nurturing, and highly sensitive. And as a holistic counsellor, I am deeply passionate about spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being. So pop on those headphones and tarot you connected.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

In this episode, I'm going to answer a question that I received as part of my heart-to-heart um newsletter column that I offer. So this question came in and I did answer that through Heart to Heart. But I just wanted to expand on it here in this episode to really go a little bit deeper to really help you to understand can you heal trauma? So Heart to Heart, as I said, is my newsletter column. So it comes directly to your inbox. So if you've got any of those burning questions of those things that you know that keep you awake at night, laying there thinking about, send it through. I would be happy to provide clarity and guidance on what it is that's keeping you up at night. All right, let's get started. So is it even possible to heal trauma? Now I think, you know, to be able to answer that question, we first need to understand, you know, what is trauma. I need to address that first before I can answer the question for you to say that is it possible to heal trauma? We need to look at what is trauma. Now, trauma isn't the thing that happened to you, but how your nervous system responded to it. Now, I think that's important to understand because a lot of the time we would think, well, the trauma is just what happened, right? So the thing that happened to us, that is the trauma. But it is actually how your nervous system responded to it in that moment. Now, for example, the same event can happen to two different people, but the outcome for both can be vastly different. And a great example of that is siblings that grow up in the same environment with the same parents, yet in their adult years, when they start to talk about, you know, the different experiences and different events in their childhood, they will describe them very differently. So how can this be? If they're in the same environment with the same parents and the same experiences, how can they be described differently? So the nervous system of each person is different. And you know, as an empath or a highly sensitive person, your nervous system is vastly different. It picks up on things that those with a less, you know, sensitive system may not even notice. So in the world of trauma healing, you know, we describe traumas as stored survival stress. You know, all of your nervous system responses to an environment or event is stored. So think of you know, fight, flight, or freeze responses that you've experienced throughout your life. And we also break the traumas down into little T's and big T's, but both affect your nervous system and cause what we call a trauma capsule. So what is a trauma capsule? A trauma capsule is both before the event and after the event. So just envision it like two book endings. One sits before the event happened and one sits at the end, encapsulating the event and protecting you from it. But over time, this encapsulation can start to break down and memories can start to flood through, and you may wonder why. You may think, I thought I dealt with that, or I don't even know what this is. And you know, they are all very normal reactions to when the trauma capsule starts to break down. Now, why it breaks down, in my opinion, is it comes at a time that you are safe enough to work through and release the emotional charge of the event. You know, when I've been working with clients for a while, you know, things might start to surface and they'll just say to me, I don't know where this is coming from. You know, they may have just, I don't know, been shopping, doing their grocery shopping, all of a sudden a memory pops up and they're like, I don't know where this came from. I don't know why this is surfacing now. And the answer to that question is because one, you're safe enough or your nervous system feels safe enough to be able to do that, but you've also built capacity within your nervous system to allow it to start to release out some of these trauma, some of this stored survival stress that you have been that has been stored um within your nervous system for quite some time, maybe all the way back to childhood and can be even be all the way back um to the womb as well, which is I think it's an interesting, interesting thing as well. Because the nervous system will not allow any healing or release when it doesn't feel safe. So it protects you in the best way it knows possible. And you know what? Sometimes those ways can feel counterproductive, but always protective. You know, if you look back over times, you'll see that it was always protective. And all of us have many trauma captures within us, and as you embark on nervous system healing and your system feels safe enough, one by one, they will start to surface for release. And my um nervous system healing mentor, Irene Lyons, she describes it like a swimming pool, full of beach balls, and you know, they're all jammed together with not much room to move, which can make healing near impossible. So, you know, coming back to our question, is it even possible to heal trauma? Well, if we don't work on a nervous system level, it could certainly feel like that. And for me, you know, for a long time in my life, I used the statement, it is what it is. Have you said that to yourself? Have you said that to other people? And you know what that means is I experience what I experienced, and that is that. But then when I trained as a counselor and as an EFT tapping practitioner, I started to see it didn't have to be, it is what it is. My past experiences will always be what they were, right? The same for you, but it isn't a jail term. I can free myself, and I have freed myself of a lot. Still more to go, of course. Healing is a lifelong journey, as I always say, but I certainly have freed myself from quite a lot of the things that I have experienced in my life. And you know, and from the very beginning of my journey becoming a certified EFT practitioner, there was one quote that really resonated with me, and it still does to this day. You know, I've been doing this work for over 10 years now, and this quote still resonates with me. And it says, A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom by Dr. Joe Dispenza. And what I really love about this quote is it describes exactly what healing with EFT tapping feels like. It doesn't take away your memories or even what happened to you, but it takes away the emotional charge. So it reduces and it releases the emotional charge and the triggers that have kept you in the moment and it running over and over in the background. So if you think about like a computer program, you know, things are running in the background that we don't necessarily see or know anything about, and that happens with us as well, with our subconscious, there's this program that's running in the background, and we don't even know that it's affecting us until we really start to look at it. So I want you to ask yourself this question. You know, have you ever had a reaction to something that has happened and later thought to yourself, why did I react so intensely to that situation? And the reason is that you aren't reacting to only what is happening in the current moment, but to all the moments throughout your life that felt similar. And I think that's an important thing to understand that what's happening to us right now, it isn't just what's happening to us right now. We've got all of this, these things that we've been through that pile up and pile up and pile up. So then when we experience something right now, we're not seeing just this, we're seeing all the things we're seeing through all the things that we've been through before. I hope that makes sense. So the lens that you are looking through affects today's experiences, and the lens you're looking through can change, and it changes through healing, stored, survival, stress, aka trauma. And you know, for years, even decades, I would say, talk therapy has been the gold standard in therapy. But in recent years of developments have really shown us that trauma is not stored in the brain, but in the body. So, you know, we've got that book that says the body holds the score. It absolutely does. You know, and this really taught us that something more than talk therapy was needed. And that is where the fourth wave of therapy, as they call it, um, has flowed through, and modalities like EFT tapping has taken over as the gold standard in therapy, and that's been shown through scientific studies. Because EFT tapping is a somatic experience, combining both the mind and body, and with me as a practitioner, spirit as well. So, what we've really had to look at when it comes to healing trauma is that staying on the surface, aka talk therapy, is not enough. Now, I'm a counselor, so I'm gonna say to you, talk therapy is healing within itself, absolutely. But when we're talking about trauma, I think it's really important that we combine that with something else that gets us into the body. So that's where talk therapy combined with EFT tapping becomes a very powerful couple and really helps you to start to heal those things on a nervous system level. So healing trauma or releasing years of stored survival stress requires us to go deeper, as I mentioned, to work with the nervous system in a safe and sustainable way. Because we need to make space or capacity within the swimming pool to allow the beach balls, aka trauma capsules, to start to have room to be able to move or release. So we start to do that by bringing safety to the nervous system. And at first, it can feel painfully slow and like you aren't doing much at all. But the nervous system loves slow and loves safety. You know, I remember when I first started doing my nervous system healing recently, it was painfully slow, like I was struggling so much that it was just not doing very much at all, and it was so slow. And for someone that had been go, go, go, go, go in charge of everything in my household here, being a carer for my daughter with epilepsy, a carer for my elderly parents, wife, mother, all those things. You know, I was always go, go, go, businesswoman as well. I found that very challenging to really slow down um and do the thing slowly and safely as the nervous system was looking for, but it works. I can attest to that. So I just thought that was important to understand, you know, that part. So, you know, you start to bring safety into your nervous system and into your body through connection, connecting with your body and giving it the signals of safety and that you are listening. So if you can honestly ask yourself right now, when was the last time I listened to my body? The signals are subtle and quiet, so you too need to be quiet and still to hear. So, how can you bring this safety that I'm talking about into your nervous system? To bring safety into your nervous system is to really give it permission to start to release stored and survival stress. It involves connecting to your body and connecting to your environment. So let me ask you, have you ever been driving somewhere and all of a sudden think, How did I get here? Or that traffic light was green, right? I know that's happened to me a few times. So, really just thinking about that for yourself, you know, has that happened to you? Because to me, this is like a prime example of not being connected to your environment. And for the most part, a lot of us are just going through the motions, not really connected to anything. Because as I mentioned earlier, when I first started my own uh healing of my nervous system, and you know, I started to connect to my environment, there were things in my house that I hadn't consciously seen for years. You know, and I put all these things in my house, I know where they are, but I'd never like consciously really noticed them or really seen them in years. And then also when I was out and about, I've also seen things I hadn't seen, and the colours I know started to be more vibrant because I was really starting to connect to that environment. So, you know, as you start to connect to your body and to the environment, this sends a signal of safety to your nervous system. And as you provide safety to your nervous system, it builds capacity, and this then makes space for your stored survival stress to move towards the surface. So, what this also provides, you know, is tools for you to use when you may feel triggered or when things do surface. So connecting to your body and to your environment brings safety during those times as well, which ensures the healing and the release instead of tension and holding. So if you think about, you know, when things have happened, you know, your body might get very tense and you might just push down what you're feeling. You know, if there's an emotion welling up and you just maybe you're not in a place of safety where you can really allow that to come up, you push it down. So we have that tense, all that tension within the body and the pushing down of the emotion. So while we're doing these things for safety, it's allowing you to have that and to be able to have that healing and have that release instead of the tension and the holding. So there's also a video over on my YouTube channel. I think I also have it here on the podcast, which is called What is Orienting Tapping? I know I've shared this with you before, but it's such a great exercise to do, and it's exactly what I was just talking about. So we're really connecting to our environment and connecting to our body at the same time while also introducing tapping, which is just a little bonus extra in that, that I find really helps us to do that exercise on a regular basis. So another question that I think we need to address or to look at is can you heal trauma by yourself? Now, I think it's important to address this because whilst doing the daily exercises to build capacity in your nervous system is vital, and I highly recommend it. I would also feel remiss if I didn't recommend that you work with a professional practitioner to support you as you are working on healing and releasing your trauma. Because something that I find comes up a lot with new clients is a fear of going too deep. And this is a very valid fear and can happen if you go too deep too quickly. And that is why my motto is to heal is to feel safe. And this embodies the importance of working with the nervous system and not trying to control it with time and speed. As I mentioned earlier, when I first started healing my nervous system recently, like the pace was painful, it was so slow. I just wanted to speed everything up. But my nervous system was like, uh-uh, not happening. We need to go slow and we need to go safe. So it's important to understand that. Um, and you know, a professional practitioner such as myself will have the training and the experience to hold a healing container for you, giving you the safety and the foundation that both you and your nervous system need to heal slowly, sustainably, and safely. You know, and I would be honored to hold that healing container for you. So if you are feeling ready to embark on your healing journey, I invite you to get in touch with me. There will be a link in the show notes for you to have a look and see which um pathway is right for you. So let's come back to the original question. Is it possible to heal trauma? And I believe it is. Yes, I believe it is. It is possible, but with a caveat. I am not going to sugarcoat it. If you've been here on the podcast with me for a while, you will know that I don't sugarcoat anything. It needs to be a commitment that you make to yourself and to your nervous system. Because I like to think about my nervous system as a relationship, building trust and safety within the relationship so we can support each other. Healing trauma is not fast, as I've mentioned, it takes time, and like your healing journey, it can be lifelong. Now that doesn't mean you are in the depths of it all the time, but it is something you need to commit to, to doing things differently, to providing space to allow healing to occur. So I really trust that this has served you and giving you a pathway forward to really finding a place of peace and healing. And just a little bit of extra thing I wanted to share with you today is that sometimes people ask me, how long does it take to heal trauma? And, you know, how long does a piece of string, essentially? But what I can give you is the time in which I've worked with clients over the years. And honestly, it's usually between about 18 months and two years. And that's where we're working on either a weekly or fortnightly basis. We're starting to heal the nervous system, we're starting to work on the things as they come up and we're releasing them. You know, it's not deep stuff every week or every session, but there are things that we're working on over time. But I do find 18 months to two years is about the period of a time that I find that my long-term clients who have experienced trauma work with me and really get themselves to a place where they feel safe enough to then hold that healing container for themselves and have that foundation for themselves. So I just want to share that a little bit with you today. So we want to thank you for joining me today, and I look forward to chatting with you again next time. Would you like to get started with EFT tapping? Download my free EFT guide, a pocket guide to tapping on the go and three bonus tapping scripts. Tapping for worry, tapping for overwhelm, and tapping for self sabotage. Sign up today. The link is in the show notes. And you can connect with me on all the socials at Nicole Ivans Holistic Counseling. Or to learn more about working with me privately, visit my website, Nicole Ivans.com.